


Walk On Light (I Cannot Stay)

by My_King_And_Your_Lionheart



Series: Now We Are Many [2]
Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: Cluster Feels, Dialogue Light, Gen, I Want My Kids To Be Safe, POV Second Person, Rescue Missions, Season 1 Finale, i love my kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 18:36:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14062989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_King_And_Your_Lionheart/pseuds/My_King_And_Your_Lionheart
Summary: The sensate bond is at once a jagged mix of sharp personalities and a smooth mosaic art piece of differing colors. This is how eight people become one.(Riley is taken from them and they will get her back)





	Walk On Light (I Cannot Stay)

**Author's Note:**

> this thing has been sitting on my computer since before season 2 aired but here it is. hope y'all enjoy!!! 
> 
> not beta'd, lmk if there's anything glaringly wrong that i just missed, which is likely.
> 
> Title from Don't Let Me Go by RAIGN

When it’s time to save Riley, Nomi is your first stop, because she’s already found a way in before you even stopped by her small hideout, and even having a shred of her confidence means a lot to you right now. Her plan is something you never could have thought of, and her surety that Riley is safe unlocks the twists in your chest and pulls some of the weight off your lungs. You do your best to give her the same comfort when Amanita gets scared, but Nomi is right, no one is really safe anymore, sensate or not. Nomi nods when you tell her you can feel the overflowing love she has for her girlfriend, and you wish you could save her, too.

Nomi gets you in, despite the odds, and you feel a tiny bit better, because before you knew where Riley was, but now you can _do_ something about it. But this facility is a maze, and even Nomi with all her tech wizardry can’t find Riley. A rush of the other five hits you unexpectedly, because they want to help, want to get the other part of their collective soul away from that _monster_ who killed so many clusters before yours.

It’s a little hard, particularly right now, knowing who you are. You have Sun’s righteous anger, Kala’s fearful optimism, Riley’s confusion, Wolfgang’s pain, Capheus’s vibrating energy, Lito’s bravado, and Nomi’s calculating awareness. But most of all, you are Will’s love, so you suppose that’s who you really are at your core, no matter who’s skin you wear. But the connection between the eight of you was strong enough to get you to Iceland, a collective will strong enough to find a way. The fear tears at you: Riley is on too many drugs for you to find her, and panic clogs your throat.

When Lito shows up, you don’t remember having sex with him, but Nomi saves you any stuttering embarrassment. You can think about all of that later. Lito knows his way around sweet talk like it’s his first language, and even though they aren’t words you’d say, they don’t trip coming off your tongue. Still, it’s nice not having to be in your body as he flirts, because you don’t think you’d be able to pull it off this well if he was just feeding you words to say.

Jonas pops in, and he knows a lot of what Whispers knows, so you can use that while you still can, and all of a sudden, you have a way out of this hellhole.

The guards give you reason to pause, but then Sun throws your shoulders back with a disappointed, “Is that all?” and you know she hates prison, can feel the concrete under your feet and know you are coming for her next. Jonas tries to warn you, maybe stop you, but Sun is in control now, and her rage is a river Whispers will drown in before he can ever come close to damming it.

When you get to Riley, you are on a mountain top, and she-has brown hair, is bleeding- is lying unconscious on a medical cot, lost somewhere inside herself. When your fingers brush her brow, it’s the first time you’ve touched another sensate of your cluster, and it’s electrifying. You feel Riley’s cold fingers on your forehead, sensors sticking to your temples, and then you’re standing over her once more, gasping for breath. Every moment you’ve spent with her comes rushing back, an almost life flashing before your eyes, but _no one_ is dying here, not in some fucked up lab where boogeymen hide under beds and there are things hiding in the shadows of closets.

You barely notice Kala come in, and once you pay attention you don’t know how you missed it, she’s got a hurricane of emotions swirling around inside her, but somehow she’s found the eye of the storm, is calm enough to get vials and syringes out. Kala gets her awake, shooting her up with things you don’t know the name of, let alone what they do. You feel your own heart give a little start when Riley jolts awake, and you don’t know if it’s the second hand drugs, or the six hand relief. You need to get the hell out of there, so you’re a little careless looking out of the elevator, and you make eye contact with the singular person you should never have made eye contact with.

Whispers is already weaseling his way into your prefrontal cortex, you can feel him burrowing into your brain and digging his claws in. But it doesn’t matter right now, right now you need to be able to drive this van away but there aren’t any _keys_. In an instant, a calm that isn’t yours flows its way into your veins and it’s Capheus who taps two stripped wires together, Capheus who shuts the hood of the care with a grin you feel carved in your own cheeks, but it’s you who gets in the driver’s seat, all the frenetic energy rushing back in.

Whispers is at your back, the helicopter tailing you, his oily voice coming from the back seat. You know you can’t save them, not really. Not now, with this monster inside your head, this monster who killed his entire cluster, and the place Jonas used to reside by your brainstem is glaringly empty in the face of his sensate brother. Eventually, even he gets replaced by other people in your back seat, telling you to give up, telling you to _fight_. Whispers is back, insisting that he knows who you are, in your core, but he doesn’t, not really. There are seven other existences pressed right alongside yours and the edges have blurred. Whispers doesn’t know how to deal with that because his cluster is barely together, is a long way from being one. 

“You can’t do it.” And, oh, that was the wrong thing to say, because “Maybe I can’t, but I know who can.” Because Wolfgang has always had a little bit of a death wish, maybe he’s stared so long at death, maybe death looked back into him, because, yeah, you are sworn to protect innocent lives, but Riley is the only innocent one here because you are not Will, because you are a _monster_.

You come back into yourself with a shrieking of metal as the helicopter pulls up, and there’s a lingering shadow underneath your skin that you can’t quite shake off. You’re a police officer- it’s not like you haven’t stared death in the face before, but this is the first time death went running scared. You aren’t quite sure you like the feeling.

Angelica is standing in the middle of the road, and you swerve, because it’s all you can do, and Riley is a storm of fear in the seat next to you. There are flashes of memory that aren’t yours and you really aren’t sure what’s real anymore. Your body and your mind stop matching up for a couple of minutes, and there are feelings pressed up together in your rib cage, but you don’t think any of them are actually yours. You briefly wonder how you felt anything at all before them before it all cuts out abruptly. When you rock back into the driver’s seat in Iceland, you have a belly you don’t have the biological means to have, and that is what really freaks you out, because Riley’s hallucination has branched into your mind and you feel a life inside you that is wholly separate from the seven other souls that you sometimes share your body with. It feels a lot like Riley, but it mostly just feels like sadness. It all cuts out, gets frozen out when you feel the car flip underneath you even as it stays still, skidding on snow that isn’t there and you aren’t sure if your heart is still in your chest because without the other six parts of you you feel hollow.

Riley launches herself out of the car after you come to a screeching halt, staggering up a hill that flashes between being covered in ice and being covered in rocky grass. Her dead daughter is in your arms and the grief you feel is so consuming, a roaring so loud you can barely hear Riley’s sobs over it. You fight through it - you have to, Whispers is still out there - and you try your best to bring her out of the flashback she’s stuck in, but it’s not working. You look up over her shoulder, expecting Capheus, or Kala, or even Lito to be there, ready to help you, but they are still on the other side of a wall of ice: you can feel them there, but their warmth is so far away that you’re not sure you’ll ever feel anything but cold again.

Even though your cluster is locked out of your brain, Jonas is still there, still helping you. His cluster brother is coming, knows where you are as long as you’re still awake. You know what you have to do, but you wish you didn’t have to leave Riley to do it. But you have to protect them. It’s who you are, in your core.

You don’t want to die.

You don’t have to. It hits you like one of Nomi’s ideas, but they’re all still missing. Maybe you’ve spent enough time sharing her brain that a little bit of her will always be with you, even when she’s not there. Kala’s medical knowledge scrolls through your head, and you grab everything you need and sit in the passenger seat of the ambulance. 

Things go quiet for a little bit after you stick a needle into your arm. But the last thing you can do is be with Riley. You go to her, tell her how she needs to save you, how she needs to save your entire cluster. Blackness comes to greet you, but you push every ounce of love your hollow chest still has into her, into your belief in her that you feel echo across the mountains until your small moment becomes the single most important thing in your life. Until the girl in front of you becomes the single most important person in your life. And she is, you know it, and because you know it, she knows it. You love her, and she knows.

You wake up somewhere on an ocean, but you can’t stay awake for long. There’s still a worm in your brain, still a parasite that won’t stop until you are the rest of your cluster are dead. You refuse to let that happen, so you let Riley inject you with enough drugs that you won’t wake up for a while. Kala checks the dosage one more time before Riley slides the needle under your skin.

As you fade into unconsciousness again, the drugs burning a steady path through you body, you feel six souls come to surround you and Riley, and the last thing you feel before everything turns to white noise and darkness is a love so soul achingly strong that you know Jonas was right. Love between sensate really is the purest form of love there is.


End file.
